36 weeks 2 days

I had my ob visit yesterday. My doctor did the group b test, I am sure I will get that result next Monday, and while she was in there she checked me. I have gone from being partially open ( 1/2 on the inside and 2 on the outside) to 2 cm dilated. That is cool, I am also 50% effaced, but I think that has been that way for a few weeks, I can not remember. The bad news (in my opinion) is the baby is really high still. She said she had to really try to reach his head. That is disappointing to me. I know things can change over night, but the baby has to be pushing on my cervix in order to dilate it. He can not do that until he drops more.

I woke up yesterday having lower back pain that came and went. I also had a case of the soft poos, and was having menstrual cramps. By the time I went to my doctors appointment, I was having contractions. I was just sure that yesterday was going to be the day. I was quite uncomfortable. What went wrong? Why does my body do that? I understand it is not time, but if it is not time, why am I having all these symptoms? It is just not fare.

I called my doctors office to see if there is anything I can do to bring the baby down, and the nurse said "you are only 36 weeks, don't push it. It is better for the baby to stay in there for now." She has a point. I don't know why that did not dawn on me until she said it. I also asked my doctor yesterday if she was thinking about inducing me early, and she said that she would not think about it until the 39th week. That makes me feel better, I don't want to be induced. She will not let me go past 40 weeks, he will be way to big at that point. So, I can say, without a bit of hesitation, that Jackson will be here by July 26th. The end. That being said, I only have 26 days until the baby comes. That is nothing, I can do that.

36 weeks tomorrow!!!!!!!!

So today is the last day I have to take my BP meds to hold off contractions. I am super excited!! John keeps telling me to not get my hopes up, but I just can not help it. My big fear... I stop the meds and have no contractions. As of Monday he was already almost 7 pounds. I want to have him while he is still on the small side of 7 pounds.

We are sort of busy this weekend, well the boys are, so I am not going to push this until Monday. I have an appointment Monday, and I figure if Jack is not here by then, I will do a lot of walking and end the night with some labor inducing sex. Yes, I am using my husband. I am sure he minds.

My mom has been saying for weeks now, that this weekend is the weekend. I have had that feeling too, but yesterday my dad voiced (well texted) his opinion and he agrees that my baby Jack will be here by Sunday. Symptoms I have been having... Nesting. I have been nesting hardcore for just over a week, and I am not done yet. Pooping. I have gone from backed up (not painfully so, but just enough to note that I go days without pooping), to pooping 5 times a day for the last 3 days. Weight loss. I guess it is a sign that at the very end you loose a pound or so. I have lost at least 1 pound in the last week. That one seem weird to me. Contractions. I, of course, have been having contractions for 8 weeks now, but they have gotten stronger in the last 3 days. Not more of them, but just stronger. Anyway, I am sure there are more, but that is all I have noticed for now. Who knows, but I am still convinced he is on the way, and really soon too!

Oh paper work

So I get a letter from The Home Depot Friday saying I did not fill out my LOA paper work correctly, and that they did not get any sort of doctors note. If I did not do this, they would assume that I did not want to work there any more. I had 15 days from the date of the letter to get them the proper paper work, or I am not a Home Depot employee any more. It took 11 days to get that letter to me. Now this is from the HR dept, in Atlanta, not my store. I called them right away saying I did everything I needed to do, on May 26th, and that I was told I was done and on leave. She said that my store did not transfer any of that information on to them. FRUSTRATING. She said that she could email me the paperwork that I need to fill out and I could just fax it in. That was Friday. As of this morning (and yes I have called them back about it) I still have not gotten the freaking email. I am getting really really irritated. I guess I will call them back this morning, request the email again, and wait 1 more day before I call my store to handle it for me.

This weeks doctor update

So I had my ultra sound, non-stress test, and 35 week check up today. The ultra sound went well. He is estimated to be almost 7 pounds at this point. That is bigger than I was expecting, but the doctor is ok with it. My fluid level is still in the 20 ranges, which is just above normal. The non-stress test was fine. Good heart rate, only a few contractions, but nothing to worry about. Let me tell you how nice the quiet time is in that dark room. I actually like the time I get to listen to my little baby boys heart beating. It is our time.

That brings us to the doctors appointment. During the non-stress test the nurse checked my blood pressure, and it was a bit high. I guess they consider high for pregnancy 140/80, and it was 136/88. Don't forget that I am on meds that lower my blood pressure so I don't have contractions, so to have a "high" pressure on the meds was worrisome. She and I talked about any symptoms I have been having, and I mentioned to her that my stomach has been hurting for 2 days (not contractions, but sore to touch), and that I just don't feel right. I can not put my finger on what is wrong, I just feel weird. She did some reflex tests and she said that I am stiff, did not know that was a problem at the time. I knew where she was going with all of this... preeclampsia. She said she was going to have the nurse come back and recheck my blood pressure. She did, and it was a bit higher, I think 138/88, but had not gone down. Then it was off to the lab. They were going to draw some blood to get some base numbers to compare on if I get worse. Things I am to watch for are... blurry vision, flashes of light or floaters in my vision, headaches that wont go away, swelling in my hands and face. I am also not to skip my non-stress test on Thursday, they need to check my blood pressure again.

John is keeping an eye on me to see if my face is swelling, it is hard for me to notice changes in myself. He says that my lips have been swollen for 2 days, but I haven't noticed. I am worried. I looked it up on the internet, and some of the other symptoms are stiffness in joints (aka, my ankles were stiff in the office, so she said), lower back pain that is liver related (thought that I was just having a few contractions in my back), sudden weight gain (I gained 4 pounds last week alone). I am sure I am reading too much into all of this, but the fact that my doctor is worried, worries me. I can not help it. I don't want to be induced, I have talked about that before. What the hell else can go wrong with this pregnancy? Seriously?!?!

OMG freaking doctors

I can not wait until I don't have to deal with doctors on a regular bases again. I have yet to hear from Bella's doctor, but in the mean time, she is almost all well. Her poop is on the way to normal, and her breath still stinks like death but the fever is gone. So that is good news.

I get a phone call from my OB doctors office today wondering why I have not gotten a second NST this week. The problem there is I have to go to the hospital in order to fit it in to John's work schedule. I found out Monday that I am being charged a minimum of $500.00 (before insurance of course) for each visit to the hospital. Bull shit. I will not be doing that again. I have an appointment on Monday at my OB office for a NST, ultrasound and regular 35 week visit. It can wait until then. I will go if there are any issues I feel we are having, but I an NOT going to get bills like that in the mail for NST's!!!! Nope, not going to happen. The lady that called seemed to have a bit of an attitude about it, but unless she wants to pay that bill, then she can just keep her opinions to her freaking self.

I started my day off at the endocrinologist's office. The insulin is working, but he is making me do it all all meals and more units too. Only a few more weeks of this and I will be done. I am bruised all over on my right side from the injections. I am running out of places I can reach to inject on!!

So tomorrow is Randi's baby shower. SUPER EXCITED about it. Looking forward to seeing all the cute baby things she is going to get, and can not wait to see the family too. I am leaving Bella with the sitter, but am bringing Spencer. I feel sort of bad for not bringing bringing Bella, but she is too much for me to chase around being this pregnant, and being that far away from my hospital. I hope Spencer does not get too bored, but he wants to come. He is bringing my DS, so all should be good. The family will get to see his new hair do. I let him pick it out. He is growing up way to fast.

Well, Bella is in the corner pooping her brains out, so I should go. Should not have said her poop was turning back to normal, I just did myself in for that one!! Wish me luck!

Oh poop

So I took Bella in to the doctor yesterday. After waiting 50 minutes to get back into the room, and then at least 15 in the room for the doctor, we finally were seen. Turns out she has a very common virus called the Rota virus. He said it usually clears up by itself, but he wanted to make sure that this is what she has. How do you make sure you ask??? Poop sample. Oh yes, I got to spoon some of her poop into a cup this morning. These are the moments you don't read about in the brochure on parenting. John is very luck I am the stay at home mommy, because he could NOT have done that. Any way, I already think she is getting better, and I don't really want to pay the lab fees for this test, but to be sure I will.

Sick little girl

So Bella has had a fever for the last few days. I am sure it is because she is working on getting her 2 year molars. She has been pooping like crazy yesterday and today. I decided to call the doctor, and they said to bring her in today. I know the runs are from the apple juice. It is all that she will drink. She did not eat lunch yesterday, or dinner last night. She did eat some waffles this morning, and finally is eating some of a pot pie (her favorite) right now. I gave her some water and she is ok with that. She refuses to take any medicine, so it is hard to keep the fever away. Any way, we are going to the doctor today at 3:30. I am sure it is here teeth, but I am going to take her in just to make sure. I would hate for it to be something else and I just ignored it.

What is new this week...

Well. Those of you that know me, know what has happened in the last few days with my finances. I am still in shock. The future is what I make of it now. The ball is in my court, I just have to keep up with it now. I CAN DO IT. I am super excited at this chance to regain control over my life. What a gift, to be able to be home with my family and not worry about how am I going to pay my bills!!!

That being said, I have focused on last minute touches. I went out and purchased hundreds of diapers yesterday. Today I got my hospital toiletries, and packed them in Jackson's diaper bag. His bag is ready to go. My bag is going to be harder to pre pack. The things I need in the hospital, are the same things I need every day. I will look for my bag tomorrow, and pack things like... slippers, socks, and baby book. I really don't know what more I can pack for now. I guess I can just leave everything else out so all I need to do is dump it in my bag. I am going to try to have my clothes clean all the time so again, I can just grab them. I am sure that when the time comes, we are going to need to rush out of the house. I just have the feeling this is going to be a quick labor, being my 3rd, and the fact that I live 30 minutes (without traffic) away from my hospital is freaking me out.

So if this baby doesn't come the day I stop taking my meds (June 27th), I am terrified he will choose to come while we are at Uncle Tom and Aunt Mary's house on the 4th. How horrible would that be. Number 1, I would hate for his birthday to be on the 4th of July. Number 2, it would take at least 2 hours to get home, and that is assuming there is 0 traffic.

I know, live in the now, don't worry about things I can not control. I know.

Totally was thinking today was it...

I woke up with lower back pain. I am still having lower back pain, 12 hours later. I have been having pressure down there for days now, but today it was really bad. Then there is the feeling that I just can not describe. It is the hardest thing to put physical symptoms into words some time. I was telling John that it is the same feeling I had the day I knew I was pregnant. I knew I was pregnant way before any test could tell me. It is a warm, tingle that starts in my lower pelvis back area and takes over my entire body. It makes me feel sort of light headed and weird. So hard to described it, but I have been getting that all afternoon. It almost takes my breath away. I have also been having regular contractions. They start in my back, and move around to my front and move to the top. They have been really strong too. Then, and this one sucks, I feel like I have to pee, but there is only a little bit there. I know that I don't have a UTI, I was just at the doctor Monday, and they test you for that every time you go in. So, as you can see, I thought for sure today was the day. Not to say that today is still not going to be the day. I hope not, I am not ready. John says if my water breaks on the new chair, I am dead!!!

I had a dream about Jackson this morning. I dreamt that my mom, dad and I were at an antique store when my water broke. John got there and drove us to the hospital (we did not have a car for some reason). The next thing I knew, I had Jackson in my arms healthy and cute. Weird.

Bottom of the 9th

So just at the last minute, it looks like my finances are going to be ok. We have been given a miracle. I can not go into the details, but I am soooooo grateful for the people that have helped me and my family. I can not stop crying!!! I am in a state of shock, and don't know what to do with myself. THANK YOU, THANK YOU, THANK YOU. There will never be anything I can do to show our gratitude, but please know how much you have helped us. No, saved us. Thank you again.

Dear lord, now what...

So I started out with the non-stress test. That went well. Then I saw MY DOCTOR. I made a point of making the appointment with her, and not a someone I did not have a relationship with. I went in with a list of questions...

QUESTION-Can I stop taking the meds that hold off the contractions at 36 weeks. ANSWER- They like to stop the meds at 36 weeks!! Perfect.

QUESTION-Am I going to go into labor the day I quit taking the meds?
ANSWER- Some people do, most do not.

QUESTION- Does that mean that my husband and I can have "relations" at that point?
ANSWER- Yes.

QUESTION- Am I going to need another ultrasound to see how big this baby is getting?
ANSWER- Yes, scheduled for next Monday.

QUESTION- I know that the non-stress test showed I was not having contractions, but I have been having lower back pain all day, and have been feeling pressure down stairs for a few days now.
ANSWER- Lets check your cervix.
RESULTS- I have opened more... 2cm on the outside of my cervix and 1/2cm on the inside. Last time it was still closed on the inside.
SIDE EFFECT OF THE RESULTS- Come in next Monday and have your cervix checked again to see what has happened all week. I may have to get the steroid shots for the babies lungs if next week I have progressed more. I just hope I last that long.

I had a few more questions that were stupid, but I was just curious. OH, AND RANDI, NO THE BABY CAN NOT BREAK THE BAG OF WATER BY JUST PUSHING. DID NOT ASK IF IT COULD BREAK WITH A HARD SNEEZE THOUGH.

So, one more thing we talked about... my blood sugar levels. Every time I go in, they change my meds. This time, no more pills, she is putting me on insulin shots. Damn. She says it will help keep the number from shooting from the 40's to the upper 170's. I find that I get super sick really quick without any notice, and when I try to fix it, I end up being too high. I hope she is right.

So after leaving the appointment, the back pains got worse and I just don't feel right. I am sure it is because she checked me, but I am still uncomfortable. We will see.

33 week check up

So I have another non-stress test, and a doctors appointment tomorrow. I am actually excited about the visit. I only hope she wants to check my cervix. I am excited to see if I have changed in the last few days. I have had a ton of pressure down there, and some contractions. Actually having one right now!! I think this one is because I have to pee. Be right back... ok, much better.

I really don't want this pregnancy to end. I am super sad that I will never have a baby again. That is such a depressing thought. I love being pregnant, even if it is super uncomfortable and expensive. I really do love it.

So the babies room is done. John is picking up the blanket right now, and I am getting the bumper pad tomorrow from my mom. I still have to frame the picture from R&K, but other than that, it is done. OOOPPPSSS, just remembered I have yet to put his clothes away. That will be fun. I can do that tomorrow. I have a cold, so I was on the couch with my sick baby girl all day today.

49 days until my due date!!!!

Um, sooo. oh never mind.

I am bored. So bored. Looking forward to something new to happen. SSSOOO bored.

Big Ol' Baby

So I have decided that this baby is going to make a break for it. He is just going to push his way out. He pushes so hard when he is turning around. Super crazy. I have tried to see if it is even possible for a baby to push hard enough to break the bag of water, but according to every thing I read, there is no proof. I am convinced it is going to happen. I just hope I am not on our new bed or recliner when it happens!! He seems to push the hardest when I have been walking around for a little bit, so I am sure I will be in the middle of Target or some where like that, and he will just push super hard and break it. The thing about that though, I have an excess of fluid, so when my water breaks, MY WATER WILL BREAK!!!! I am sure there will be no question when it does break.

So when I go to my regular 2 week check up on Tuesday, I am going to ask when she wants me to stop taking the meds that are keeping me from contracting. I have put a lot of thought into it, and my bet is that she will let me stop taking them around 36 weeks. Why the theory you ask... gestational diabetes causes babies to grow at a rapid pace, and the bigger the baby, the harder it is to deliver. If that is what she wants (or allows) this baby could be here around June 27th. Lets do the math... 27-2=25 days!!!!! I know I had said something about a full moon on June 22, but I was wrong. It is a new moon 6-22, full moon is June 7th, and July 7th. Ok, so here is my new prediction... She will let me stop taking the meds at my 36 week, June 27th. I will have contractions for a few days, but nothing will come of them. I will then go into labor the morning we are to go to Uncle Toms house, aka 4th of July, ruining the entire day. Who knows. Stop thinking about it so much, and just live it Cori.