Saturday, August 29, 2009


So I realize that it was our idea to have a baby, and yes I know that new borns do not sleep when you want them too... but I am sleepy. I need 1 night of full sleep. I am going to go crazy soon. I am getting super frustrated with the fact that the baby is not nursing like I want him to do. He is doing this thing where he just does not want to nurse. He just flat out chooses to not nurse. He will take a bottle, and is happy after that... but will not latch on. He just freaks out until I get him that bottle. I want to be a nursing mother, but if he will not latch on, then what the heck do I do?!?!?! I put too much stress on myself when it comes to breastfeeding, I always have. I don't know why. I just feel that it is so important to make the first few months good, so that maybe whatever I do will stick. However, I did everything perfect with Bella, and it is just like I haven't, so I guess it just doesn't matter.

Anyway, if I could just get 1 good nights sleep... uninterrupted, I would be doing a little better. I might not be stressing so much about how or where Jack sleeps, or what and when he eats.

Wednesday, August 19, 2009

Little man Tenney

My new baby boy is 4 weeks old today. That makes me very sad. I wish I could stop time and just enjoy the new born stage a little longer. I will not miss the sleepless night however. I am getting sick of him only sleeping 1-2 hours at a time without eating at night. He can go for hours during the day, but the second I want some sleep he wakes up. I think the last 2 nights I have gotten a total of 6 hours sleep. Not enough for this person!! He is staying awake longer during the day now, so why is he not sleeping more at night? Oh well, only a few more weeks until he sleeps longer at night. I will move him into his own room really soon. I have to get him use to sleeping flat on his back so he will like his crib. Actually I put him in his crib one day while I was in his room doing somethings, and he did not seem to mind it too much. His crib is super comfortable, and there are lovely colors to look at in there, so I think that is why he liked it.

Perhaps I will work on keeping him up longer in the evening, not that it is easy to do. It just seem like the only time we go anywhere is in the evening, and he sleeps in the car. It is hard to wake that boy up when you do want him up, and even harder to put him to sleep!!

Today is going to be hot. We are going to be playing in the pool this afternoon. I am going to get up and make lunch in a minute, put Bella to bed and then when she wakes up we will all go out back. The sun is the hottest out back around 5pm, but there is more shade back there in the afternoon. I am not a big fan of hanging out in the back yard, there is no where to sit, and I always get burnt through the leaves on the trees. Maybe I will sit out in the sun and work on my tan. Now that I am drug free, there are no side effects from them and I wont burn.

Friday, August 14, 2009

Life and getting through it

So in the last few days I have managed to take my 3 kids to the store all by myself. For now it is really not all that hard. I think when Jackson gets older it will become a bit more hard. Now I just put the car seat in the shopping cart, and Bella in the seat part of the cart. Spencer, of course, is a big help and runs along beside the cart.

The last few days have been weird. Ashley and Tim's wedding is tomorrow, and my kids are in it. I have spent the last few days looking for an outfit for me (finally found one that fits this squishy body), going to the tux fitting, getting shoes for us all, getting the small details for Spencer and I, and just running around like a crazy person. Jackson has gotten off any sort of schedule that I may have been close to because of this. Today we have more things to get, as well as go to the rehearsal tonight. Tomorrow is the wedding, so it is an all day event for the kids. I just hope that the lack of being home doesn't mess with Jackson too badly. Last night was horrible from 9-12. He cryed and cryed for ever. I still don't know what was wrong with him, I can only assume that it was lack of food and sleep from the days combined.

On the bright side of things, I found some rad shoes for Spencer, Bella and I yesterday. We ended up spending 65.00 on 4 pairs of shoes, and only 3 pair were every day shoes. My shoes are for the wedding. I hope to get some use out of them other than the wedding, but I am not too sure. Today we go to Walmart for jewelry for me for the wedding and to see what they have for school clothes for the boy. I still would like to find an outfit for Jackson for tomorrow, but it is really hard to find anything other than onsies for a boy this small. I want an outfit for him, but again, they are either too big, or for the fall and I think it is going to be on the hot side tomorrow.

Places to go today...
Wedding Rehearsal
Depending on how much time I give us... we may go to JCPenney's for school clothes too.

I will be doing all the school shopping this weekend. School starts in just 2 weeks!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! And we are going camping next weekend, so that leaves no time. I don't want to take the chance of running out of money. or time, before the boy gets his clothes.

Thursday, August 6, 2009

Back to real life

It is nice to be getting back to normal. It was nice to have my mom here, but now that she is gone things are getting back to normal. Jackson is fitting in really well. I was worried about how Bella was going to deal with him, but turns out she likes him. Good thing too. There was one time where Spencer had to stop her from hurting him, but I don't think she did it to hurt him. She was going to lay on him, just like she does with Spencer. She just does not realize how small the baby is. Other than that she is doing fine. There is a time or two a day where she is jealous of the baby, but that is normal. She wants to sit on my lap when he is. It can be overwhelming some times, but that is something that I will just have to deal with.

I am looking forward to the day when he sleeps for longer than 2-3 hours at night, but at the same time I don't want him to get too big too quick. This being my last baby, I am really wanting him to grow REALLY SLOW. I love the baby stage. John likes the older baby stage, like 9 months. I dig new borns. I feel this connection with Jackson, like he knows what I am saying to him. I did not have that with Bella, and Spencer and I did not mesh well for like 2-3 weeks after he was born. I was afraid of babies when I had Spencer. Jackson is going to be mommies boy, for sure.

The breastfeeding is going really well. There is the occasion now and then where he gets a bottle. Sometimes he just does not get enough milk from me, and then I will give him a bottle. Like last night. I nursed and nursed and he was still hungry. I almost wonder if he was over sleepy, and the bottle acted like a binky. He usually only drinks 1 oz, at the most, the rest is breast milk. Then when John gets up with him on his days off, he gets 1 bottle a night then. I am not that good at nursing in public, so I find myself packing a bottle for back up. I always try to nurse first, but if I am shopping at the Walmart, I am not going to whip out a booby. I can say that I am already getting tired of being the only source of food for him though. On call every 2 hours. That will change when he gets a little older, and needs to eat less often.

We are thinking about going camping in the next few weeks. Well, John and Spencer are going, and Bella, Jackson and I are thinking about tagging along. I think John is ok with us going. I have not been camping forever. It was before Spencer. I may have been pregnant with him, but I don't think I was. That was 8 years ago!! Now when I say camping, I mean I slept in a van. Roughing it huh?!?! Any who, I don't know where John is thinking, but I found a rad campground near a lake. I think it would be a good place to start out camping with the family. I am not really down with taking Bella into the middle of the woods. I would worry the entire time about her running away. We need to buy a few things in order to go. We have a small tent, but we would need a second one, and air mattresses for both. We have everything else we would need. Sounds fun, I hope we actually go along with it. I need to get out of this house.