Huh

The second I found out I was pregnant with Bella, I felt the bond. I loved her the second the test turned positive. I am finding that I am not feeling that this time. I feel guilty about it, but there is just not a bond yet. I did not feel the bond with Spencer, and it took me a few weeks after he was born to feel it. My theory with this is... I wanted to get pregnant with Bella sooo bad, and it took so long. To finally get what I had tried so hard for, was the most rewarding feeling I have ever had. This pregnancy sort of just happened (do not mistake this for an accidental pregnancy, we calculated and planed this baby too, just like the other 2). I did not expect it to happen so quickly, or frankly, did not expect it to happen at all. Am I tempting the fates having one more baby? I am not exactly a young chicken prime for reproducing. What if this one is not healthy. I have never been soo worried before about such a happy event. I am not a religious woman, but I will be talking to God allot about this, and praying for a happy, healthy pregnancy and birth.